Beaver and Steve
Click here for the full comic strip. It is hilarious. I saw this over at SeriousEats and just had to re-post it.

I just found out that there is a Chinatown Ice Cream Factory. I love green tea ice cream, so this is the best news I have ever gotten.

Bad Service

I know that a lot of people who are or were servers, or people who have friends that are servers are very sensitive about tipping. Even if they receive poor or mediocre service, they feel the need to tip generously because, admittedly, it is hard to be on your feet for that long and being a server can suck sometimes. You do make minimum wage, and you do depend on your tips to live...but here's the thing, I'm don't want to be the one who pays you to suck at your job. If the kitchen is slow, then tell me that. If they are backed up and I should expect to wait an hour or more for my meal, then let me know. Be nice. Be attentive. I can see how busy you are, how many tables you have, and if you are working hard or if you are standing around talking to the other servers.

Never...under any circumstances... add gratuity to my bill. Okay, if I'm at the Olive Garden with a party of 10, then add it, but if I'm at a nice restaurant in NY with a party of 5, you better not try to tell me how much you deserve. If you do an outstanding job, I will leave more than 20%, but if you are lazy, unattentive, or just basically suck, I will give you what I think you deserve.

Last night some people from work and I went to La Palette. When we finally got our food, after what seemed like an eternity, it was decent, but certainly not good enough to justify the kind of wait we endured. Problems like this can often be remedied by the server, who, if they have a good attitude, explain the situation, or take something off my bill for being so patient, can convince me to give the restaurant another try. We had to ask our server where our food was multiple times. She never apologized for the wait. Then she proceeded to add a 20% gratuity to our bill, before tax!!! So she taxed us on the tip too!

Needless to say, after waiting 45 minutes for our food, we weren't about to leave her a 20% tip. We left what we felt was fair, only to have her confront one of my co-workers about not leaving enough money.

Today is Dumb!
This morning was just one of those mornings. I left late. The train was stalled. I got to the gym late and didn't have time to work out. I was looking down at my coffee and walked into a tree. I burnt my toast.
It got to that point of being comically bad where you just have to laugh. I mean, who walks into a tree? In New York. I thought the only place we even had trees here was in Central Park, and I certainly wasn't there.

Ha! I'm living longer than everyone!
Al send me this article today from NY Magazine about why New Yorkers live longer than the rest of the country...9 months longer to be exact.
HA! Take that rest of the country! We totally rock. We're a fast-walking, long-living bunch of people. Granted I've only lived here for about 7 months, but still, I'm a New Yorker.
Sometimes when I'm walking somewhere and there's a really slow person, or slow bunch of people in front of me, I take the first opportunity to blow past them and in my mind I shout, "tourists!"
When I got off the plane in Salt Lake to see my family, you should have seen how slow people were moving. It was very upsetting. I had to clench my fists and take deep breaths and try to remember that I wasn't in NY anymore. Granted, that level of annoyance probably isn't doing my health any good.

I'm usually opposed to telling people what to do (that's a lie), but I want you all to go out and buy this book: Eat This: 1001 things to eat before you die. Then I want you to take a couple months off work, pack up the family, and visit all these places. If you don't have the time and the means to do it, then just send donations and I'll go for you. I'll take lots of pictures and tell you all about my trip. It will be just like you are there.

What? Why?I would like to introduce you to LiveActive cottage cheese...with fiber. Cheese? With Fiber? It promises to "regulate your digestive system" by which they really mean, "we're fighting the colon-hindering effects of cheese." You know, you could just eat a salad after you eat your cottage cheese, but apparently that would be way too hard.